Monday, August 30, 2010

Captain Pregger's Log - Monday, August 30th, Year 2010

The last month we have been lost in the 2nd Galaxy of Trimester. We have dodged excessive amounts of heat, black holes of uncertainty, and have had numerous debates, battles, or negotiations with the Diaper King of Planet PooPeepee 9, Sector Frustraton's Registry Army, ChildCare Andromeda, and Gaseous bodies unknown to mankind...

The fleet has been restless.
My fleet has been given designation as rank "XX" and our commanders, generals, and followers are excited about this new rank. I believe this is a permanent rank.
Captain Hashtronaut has been working on audio communications with Pepperoni,Jr. since he is not as closely present as I am with the fleet.
Pepperoni,Jr. has been expanding slowly and working as a unit.

Dr. OB/GYN has granted me permission to drink 1 can of Diet Coke a week which has alleviated my nebular headaches and pheening. Captain Hashtronaut got a new phone that can at least recieve calls in deep outer space if not Sector 35A distances.

My first mate, Sir Pacsalot, has been suffering from a bout of Space Ticke Borne Illness. But no worries, our resident medic has provided him with proper care.

Despite all my years as an engineer and captain, I still can't understand the physics of a damn car seat...

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Captain Pregger's Log - Thursday, July 15th, Year 2010

Today we embark on the story of Captain Pregger's discovery of her fleet whom she recently assigned the name "Pepperoni, Jr."

May 21st, 2010
I called Commander Lele to tell her that I suspect I may be suffering from cancer. Nausea, enlarging tummy, loss of appetite, napping at odd hours of the day, fatigue, moodiness, headaches...

I was ready for my trip - researched information on an all out culinary adventure in Japan that consisted of living with locals and learning culinary techniques from them as well as samarai sword making. It was going to be a-w-e-s-o-m-e.

Commander Lele - "Captain, you need to take a test, THE test."
Psshhh...whatever, I'm telling you, I think I have cancer. But I took the test anyways and challenged my fate. It was positive. No that must be wrong. 2nd test. Positive. 3rd test. Positive. 4th test...maybe, wait...no. Positive.

I cried that night for 3 hours...not because I just inherited a new fleet, but because I couldn't eat sushi and drink Diet Coke for 9 months. The Captain can only take so much food restrictions on this mission!

Had my "end of 1st trimester" meeting with Dr. Ob/Gyn...Dr. Ob/Gyn is a happy alien with smiles and happy thoughts. Sometimes I wish I can just beam Dr. Ob/Gyn to another planet. I think that was one of the most pointless meetings I had except for the urine screening and finding out my co-captain's phone is a piece of technology known as CRAP.

My fleet, Pepperoni Jr., was doing well.